Crossing the Atlantic the Easy Way Part 2 - on to the Canary Islands above and below the water

If you're like me - you can't remember where the hell Canary Islands are.  They hide off the coast of Northwest Africa.

There are 7 of them

Most people know that the Canary Islands aren't actually named after these birds (rather its the other way around)

Canaries are cool pets (unless you have a bad hangover, in which case you'll want to microwave the loud little bastard).  If you've never heard a canary sing click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VudvdlyJX04 

The prevailing myth is that the islands are named after dogs (canaris).  According to Wikipedia, nobody really knows how they got their names. There are many conflicting rumors about the origin of the name. Either way, 12,000,000 visitors a year visit them - with good reason.  They're gorgeous.

The Canary archipelago are volcanic (gee, who would have guessed?) In fact, the third largest volcano in the world is Tenerife (also the name of our first stop).

Doesn't look all THAT big does it? That's because they measure the height of the volcano from it's base underwater. Seems like cheating. It's like me saying I'm 6'5" only you have to measure me starting from the bottom of the stepladder I'm standing on. Either way, Tenerife is a famous place for European tourists escaping the winter. It's also a famous place for pilots.  In 1977 the Tenerife airport was the site of the world's worst aviation disaster. 

Two 747's crashed into each other and the death toll was simply appalling (583 people died, 61 managed through shear luck to survive). Most people remember that one 747 crashed into the other one on the runway during takeoff in thick fog. That's true, but the reason there were two 747s there in the first place kinda got lost in all the death and destruction. Both jets had been diverted to Tenerife because of a bomb that exploded at their destination airport on the neighboring island of Las Palmas. Because of the bomb (and the threat of a second unexploded bomb) there were lots of planes diverted to Tenerife.  The airport ran out of space to park them all so some of the planes had to sit on the taxiway. While they waited for Las Palmas to reopen a nasty fog rolled in. It was so thick that you couldn't see from one end of the runway to the other. Even the tower couldn't see them and, unfortunately, the tower lacked ground radar. When it was time to leave, one 747 had to use the main runway as a taxiway because of all the parked jets on the taxiways. Through a series of misunderstandings over the radio, clearance was given for takeoff while the runway still had the taxiing 747 on it.

The result was awful.

After it was all over and analyzed, several important changes were made that are now standard air ops today.

"The accident had a lasting influence on the industry, particularly in the area of communication. An increased emphasis was placed on using standardized phraseology in ATC communication by controllers and pilots alike, thereby reducing the chance for misunderstandings. As part of these changes, the word "takeoff" was removed from general usage, and is only spoken by ATC when clearing an aircraft to take off or when cancelling that same clearance. Less experienced flight crew members were encouraged to challenge their captains when they believed something was not correct, and captains were instructed to listen to their crew and evaluate all decisions in light of crew concerns. This concept was later expanded into what is known today as Crew Resource Management. CRM training is now mandatory for all airline pilots.^"

^{The Canary islands are claimed by Spain, but this has been a source of contention by Morocco for years. At stake are the mineral rights offshore, but so far it hasn't resulted in a recent war. This hasn't always been the case. In WWII Winston Churchill prepared plans for the British seizure of the Canary Islands as a naval base, in the event of Gibraltar being invaded from the Spanish mainland. In 1797 the British had a go at them}   "The British were repulsed, losing almost 400 men. It was a very painful lesson for Lord Nelson as it was during this battle that he lost his right arm." That had to hurt (watch the movie 'Master and Commander, the Far Side of the World' if you have a strong stomach). Plus, from then on, he had to salute with his left hand. Course, being Lord Nelson and all, nobody said a word. 

Tourism is now their biggest industry, but it wasn't always so. For a while they were a big producer of sugar. Cuba was better at sugar production though, so in the 1800's 40,000 islanders said 'to hell with it' and emigrated to Venezuela. Then someone found that they were good at growing Cochineal. Cochineal isn't a plant.  It's a stupid bug.

 This is a bug that you don't want to hit with your windshield.  It will make a helluva mess. Cochineals are ground up into a paste that makes a terrific crimson-colored dye called carmine.

The Canaries were my first introduction into the importance the Spanish give to their art.  Since Tenerife does a lot of fishing, they built a big statue to the lowly fishing hook.

Just kidding, this is actually the Tenerife auditorium.  

Makes you wonder - during a rain shower how much water drips off the tip and who does it drench? It would be ironic if it was these guys.

They also had a buncha other statues around.  This was my favorite

There's a couple amusing things about it.  First, look at the expression of the winged guy on the bottom.

Get the hell off me goddammit

Next, look at the guy on top

Is it just me, or did Christopher Walken pose for the head?

The Spaniards artists are more modest than the Italians artists are.  Note the loincloth

Just for the helluva it, I hiked 6 miles up into the hills

Spanish building inspectors aren't real observant or caring

Railing?  We don't need no stinkin' railing.

Not a good place to live if you like to drink and come home at night hammered.

Speaking of hammered, check out what I found in the local supermarket

Absinthe has been illegal in the US since 1912 (which meant I just had to buy some).  Supposedly, aging it in wormwood released the chemical  thujone. Thujone has often been portrayed as a dangerously addictive psychoactive drug. In truth it is in such small amounts in absinthe that you can't drink enough to get any effect at all.  The active drug in absinthe is actually good ole alcohol.  A BUNCH of it. The damn stuff is 140 proof.  I have no idea why there was a marijuana leaf on the label. There isn't any weed in it. If there was - it would taste like bong water. All I can tell you is that it tastes like shit.  It's awful.  Took one sip and gave the rest of the bottle to the crew.

So what about the part in the title that says below the water?

Unlike Catalina Island (off the coast of Southern California) that has a semi-submersible (meaning it looks like a sub, but doesn't actually dive below the surface) 

Tenerife has a real submarine.

BIG difference between the two. The Submarine Safari was built in Finland for $3.5M. It's a nice, comfortable, all electric sub with an operation depth limit of 300 feet. I was in favor of taking the tour because for $100 I could see what was going on under water without freezing my ass off (the water temp was in the 60's - screw that!).  The interior is big (you don't have to stoop)

And you get a nice big window.

Underwater photography is very hard to do.  You might think that not shivering and having the luxury of using a nice, dry, digital camera would make things easy. Guess again.

Underwater photography is ridiculously hard and requires an enormous investment in equipment and time.

The camera will cost you thousands, but the lights will cost you even more.  Without powerful lights, when you go deep everything looks blue. We went pretty deep.

At 100 feet, the water filters out all but the blues.  When you see a picture like this

you're seeing the result of a very big flash system.  At this point if you think I sound frustrated - you're right!   Never-the-less, I had a great time and was impressed at how professionally the sub was built and run.

I don't have the faintest idea how to drive the damn thing. All I know is that its really really important to securely close ALL of the hatches before you push the goie-downie button. Just to be on the safe side, the sub is trailed by a surface boat. If you ever go to Tenerife, I highly recommend taking the sub ride. They do a good job and the (blue) views are terrific. Having said that, I would have even more entertained if the thing had torpedoes you could fire at the fish.