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Saturday, November 2, 2019

Russian surprises Part 1

Korsakov, Russia, is a small city on the south end of Sakhalin Island  Basically it's just north of Japan's OkieDokie Island (Hokkaido Island).



Korsakov turned out to be a good lesson on why you shouldn't trust Wikipedia to always get things correct.  According to Wikipedia, Korsakov is a small, dumpy, back water refuge for the Russian mafia. When you land in the harbor, that seems like a reasonable description:







Not sure if that's a mustache or baleen

None of us could figure out what the deal was with the car rear ends.

Sort of looks like art.


"Cadillac Ranch" Amarillo, Texas circa 1974

Current condition.

The city of Korsakov is a 20 minute bus ride from the port. In 20 minutes you go from decrepit port buildings to a modern, clean, new, posh, hip, thriving small city of 38,000.


Way cool antenna. Probably connects directly to US voting machines.




What the hell? Where did all this money come from? Welllllll
what Wikipedia failed to mention is that just off the coast the Russians discovered a huge natural gas field. The high-  pressure pipeline to transport all that wealth is 4' in diameter (and requires a Russian soldier stationed every kilometer to keep the mafia from tapping in). 

Russians always love their war memorials.  Korsakov is no exception.




Tommy guns? (the drum magazines do give them a certain look)
Tommy gun held Chicago style






Right next to the war memorial was a small group of boy teenagers skateboarding (and hoping for some girlskis to show up.)

Doesn't it look like he (or his grandfather) posed for the statue above?


These teenage boys did more good for US / Russian relations than any propaganda coming out of Moscow or Washington. They were polite and gracious to a bunch of old Americans interrupting their skateboarding.

More non-smiling Russian busts

Gorgeous church (not open so I won't bore you with inside shots)


The blue tiles were stunning

Huge blue skylight. I couldn't get close enough to figure out if the scaffolding rotates and was used to clean the glass, or it was just a means to service the flagpole. 
The war memorial has enshrined the perfect object as it's centerpiece display:

This is the famous T-34 tank

The T-34 tank was to Russia what the Spitfire was to Britain
The T-34 played a pivotal role for the Russians in WW II. It was very well designed (it set the standard for tank design for decades) and it's 3" gun was deadly against the invading Germans. It's biggest claim to fame, however, was cost and simplicity. Quite simply, the Russians could manufacture them faster than the Germans could destroy them (much like the story of the American Liberty supply ships vs. the U boats). The Russians built 80,000 of them and the Germans only managed to blow up 44,900 (good for mother Russia, bad for the tank crews facing less than 50/50 odds). Reminds me of coach Don Shula's NFL record - most wins of any coach, but also the most losses.

If you know tanks (I don't) you'll notice that this isn't a Russian T-34 on display off to the side in the memorial park.

It is, in fact, a Japanese tank left over from one of the times Japan claimed the peninsula (they ceded Korsakov in negotiations with the Russians culminating in the 1875 Treaty of St. Petersburg). In WW II Japan tried to take it back again.
This is a picture of the tank's gun loading mechanism (i.e. it's the back end of the gun). If you're curious how you prevent the afore pictured teenage boys from trying to make a neat tank display go BANG! the chunk of metal in the gun's breech makes it impossible.

This statue of a mother morning the loss of her sons in the war is the most heart-wrenching sculpture I've ever seen.

On a happier note - what trip to Russia would be complete without the influence of vodka?

A Cadillac Escalade limo pulled up to the war memorial we were visiting to stage a couple of wedding photos.

The best man (?not sure) on the right was barely able to walk (didn't have any trouble shouting and having a grand ole time). Sure hope he wasn't the limo driver.
I must have visited Korsakov on "wedding day".  We saw several wedding parties:

This is the dress I said yes to.

"OK I posed, now leave me alone"

These bridesmaids are babushkas? Boy, did the drab, old, dreary history books get it wrong.

Had time to visit the local museum of natural history.  A couple of the taxidermy specimens were spectacular.


"Are you the one who has a small pet dog named Tilly? Those are called 'snacks'. "   
This wolf specimen was put on display only months ago. You would have to have nerves of steel and zero imagination to be the museum nightwatchman.


No clue.  Fetal sturgeon? (there's a joke there but you have to dig for it) Nerve gas experiment?
Finished the tour with lunch at the local mall food court:

Those 'crazy tacos' look a lot like hamburgers to me.

English ad?

I did NOT travel all the way to outer Russia to eat a subway sandwich.

Is "Fast-Food" an international term? 
If you're wondering what kind of food Bubo's offers, I'm not 100% sure, but it is fast though.
There is a very dark side to the history of Korsakov that I've deliberately chosen to pass on.  Korsakov was a penal colony for much of it's existence. The museum had a large display depicting all the horrors. Trust me, you're better off not knowing the details.