Katfish Kapers: Lovely Lisbon

I am not the first to be enchanted by Lisbon, Portugal. It is, after all, one of Europe's oldest cities - predating London, Paris and Rome by centuries.

Lisbon has around 3,000,000 inhabitants ( one quarter of the population of Portugal - I always thought Portugal was much larger).

So what makes Lisbon so cool? I'm not really sure, but it definitely is. I think it comes down to money and a mild disdain for ultra modern architecture (at least the parts I visited). Lisbon has a very respectable GDP per capita ratio, but while they are by no means reliant upon tourism they seem to try to keep Lisbon looking like it always has. It simply has a nice flavor to it.

crumbling fort now a park

narrow streets

Weekend flea market - same as US (more crap than treasures).

Tile exterior walls

In 1873 Lisbon installed horse drawn trams. In 1901 they were all converted to electric.

Putting this guy out of work
(Mr. Peabody and Sherman show)

Narrow gauge tracks with short wheelbase trams. I don't know if even the Disneyland choo choo could make a turn that tight without jumping the track and scaring the hell out of the happy couple.

Until recently the tram routes had been slowly losing out to Lisbon's metro system and bus system. In 2017 the mayor of Lisbon woke up and realized what a treasure the trams really are. He has made sure that the money has been earmarked to expand the system back to it's full glory days. They work on a hop/on hop/off basis and share the road with car traffic.

Those of you who know me well know that I am severely navigationally challenged (the joke about not being able to find his way out of a paper bag was written about me). Keeping that in mind, I will happily ride a tram that follows a circular route. This often means I miss out on some cool stuff where you have to be able to find your way back. Like this tram that goes off somewhere:

Evidently this one goes through "tagger-town"
By Alf van Beem - Own work, CC0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=26076445

Yeah, death is. Maybe they mean they don't do zombie funerals.

I have no clue as to how this is supposed to work.

Portuguese modern history is interesting.

Tony Salazar was "Prime Minister" of Portugal from 1932 to 1968 much the same as Putin is "President" of Russia. Nothing helps you stay in power like having your own secret police goon squad.

In 1968 Salazar kicked the bucket. 6 years later, in 1974, the military staged a bloodless coup. To their surprise the whole country joined in with them. Apparently there was one helluva celebration in the streets and carnations were placed in the rifle muzzles of the military insurgents - and it became known as the Carnation Revolution.

Odd to see the hammer and sickle. The party still enjoys a certain following.

Within 6 months of the revolution Portugal dumped all their colonies - "Guinea-Bissau, Angola, Mozambique, Cape Verde, and São Tomé and Príncipe became independent countries."

How's this for an iconic shot?

These twin pillars are known as Cais das Colunas. They form the symbolic entrance to Lisbon (representing the two pillars of Solomon's temple - wisdom and devotion). Queen Elizabeth II herself landed here.

"Is that a fish down there?"

Yup

The bridge in the background is quite interesting.

When it opened in 1966 it was inaugurated the "Salazar Bridge"

After the 1974 revolution it was renamed the April 25th Bridge (after the Carnation Revolution date). Surprise surprise.

This is one of the noisiest bridges in the world. In this view you're looking up at the two sets of train tracks. In an odd twist - the trains are the quiet ones.

This is the underside of the roadway itself. See the light coming through? In 1999 they expanded the bridge to accommodate more traffic. You save a lot of weight and construction costs if you don't bother paving the lanes with heavy asphalt. It does, however, make quite a racket as the traffic hums along.

This is called the Monument of Discoveries
It's 164' tall and faces the Tagus river

It celebrates the 15th and 16th centuries when Portugal was a major world explorer

This Henry the Navigator with his favorite toy boat. You'd think that his left hand is holding a chart. It's more likely holding a spreadsheet (seriously).

This is the real Henry the Navigator. He wasn't a navigator at all. He wasn't even a sailor. He hated the ocean. He did, however, have a lot of money and he spent it on financing expeditions.

This is Harland Williams. He has nothing to do with Henry, but he does sort of look like him. Harland is an "A list" stand-up comedian (and actor) and is one of my all-time favorites.

(guy on the far right) "Hey look. I stabbed a pigeon!"

The ad said free beer if we showed up. I don't see a keg anywhere. Stupid Henry, couldn't navigate his way to a liquor store.

Portuguese ships were called Carracks. While ungainly looking, they were extremely capable vessels.

By Walrasiad - Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=14778490

Lots of cultures in the 15th and 16th centuries sent out ships in exploration. The thing that distinguished the Portuguese is that the ships they sent out managed to find their way back home. The Portuguese were master navigators and cartographers. Once they found a place worth returning to, they were one of the very few who could reliably do it.

This is the King Jose I statue located in what is now called the "Commerce Square". It used to just be called the palace yard until a massive earthquake and tsunami in 1775 wiped the slate clean. Later, in 1908, the square was the scene of the assignation of King Carlos. It worked, 2 years later the group that whacked him rose to power. The horse he's riding is symbolically stomping on snakes (which may explain, in part, Lisbon's rat problem)

In my opinion, this is one of the very best bronze statues in Europe. The detail is exquisite (even though his puss looks a bit botoxed)

Base of the statue - your guess is as good as mine. I was never able to find an explanation for Dumbo barging around

Can't be Dumbo - the ears are too small. Whatever. It's gloriously loony.

The other side is just as nuts.

The only common theme I could find was big animals trampling guys wearing towels.

Made me wonder - if sunglasses had been invented in his time would that have helped his squint? He looks like he just caught a whiff of the outhouse.

Portrait of Sourpuss Joe. Seriously, how could you pose in that get-up without cracking a smile? Joe was a big fan of opera and managed to assemble one of the greatest collections of scores in Europe.
As a side note, I'm pretty sure I saw this painting a couple years in the Heritage.
By Miguel António do Amaral - Hermitage Museum, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=41904308

At the back of Commerce Square is this cool arch called
The Arco da Rua Augusta

It has statues of the Glory, Ingenuity and Valour (by the French sculptor Calmels) and those of important men such as Viriatus, Nuno Álvares Pereira, Vasco da Gama, and Eddie the Mooch.

This is the MAAT: Museum of Art, Architecture and Technology

Right now all the MAAT really is is the coolest looking building on the planet. The curves all flow and work together. Work towards what (?) is the unanswered question. Evidently all the money and creative genius went into just building the place. What it is supposed to house was a question they never agreed on. In other words like a Kardashian - looks good, doesn't do anything.

This is the Christ the King statue. It actually sits across the Tagus river in Almada (that way it faces Lisbon). If you think it looks like Rio's Cristo Redentor that's not a coincidence.